"Are you the SAT because I’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a 10 minute break halfway through for snacks, and then I can stare at you for like 10 minutes and think ‘wow, I hope I don’t ruin this.’"

Dude on OKC with the best pick up lines I have ever heard (via katamarang)

(via tastefullyoffensive)

xbean:

ablogfortwolovers:

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE LOVE STING RAYS LOOK AT THAT FACE

Because they ganged up on the crocodile hunter and shanked him in cold blood.

xbean:

ablogfortwolovers:

WHY DONT MORE PEOPLE LOVE STING RAYS LOOK AT THAT FACE

Because they ganged up on the crocodile hunter and shanked him in cold blood.

(via ruinedchildhood)

cloudy-dreamers:

Resting your head on the bus window, despite the vibrations causing mild concussion

(Source: cloudy-dreamers, via pagingme)

amoying:

putting on head phones when your volume is at 100%

image

(via tyleroakley)

kingloptr:

literallytrash:

itssexualhour:

My parents are both pastors and once I was fucking this one dude who’s dad was the pastor of the rival church and he whispered ‘talk biblical to me’ so i started reciting Psalms  23 and we ended up getting into a competition of who could recite the most bible versus before they cummed

you need less jesus

holy fuck

(Source: itssexualhour, via pagingme)

brazenbutterflyfragilewings:

gemscarstairs:

lipstickandligature:

thephotogfeminist:

"Losing your virginity" will henceforth be called "your sexual debut".

Because you’re not fucking losing anything.

YES. 

YES

I’m a fan of opening night as well

(via tickling-your-man-boobies)